30 – Home now.

I’ve written and rewritten, my blog post on Korea, and I never bothered to post it. I wonder why? Maybe I never came to terms with leaving the place where I spent the best 6 months of my life? And did I make the right choice?

Since August, I’ve had an amazing opportunity to move to Korea to teach English.

We had a month of orientation, making new friends and being treated like we were going to summer camp. Food, activities, our life all planned out for us. The second month (after the orientation) when we were really living on our own, was scary. My apartment was not the newest, or the cleanest, or the safest? Korean bathrooms are known to be mold-infested, which could easily grow behind the lumpy wallpaper of my studio apartment. I met my students, my school, my mentor, my co-workers.

Fast forward to 5 months. I’ve fallen in love with freedom. I’ve never been away from family for so long. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back, pick up where I left off, make my way back to reality. I’d done so much. I’d visited many parts of Korea, experienced their food, their culture, the people, the language… There was a sense of pride of what I’d been able to do on my own. It’s not easy to be able to fully take credit a lot of the time.

I’d still had so much to do, all the cafés that I wished I’d had time to go to, all the festivals that would be happening in the summer. I’d miss my school, my students, and the friends I’d made from around the world that I’d met in Korea.

But here I am, back home, now with a regular school schedule, and work. It’s nice… after 2 months of coming home, I think I’ve finally accepted my place once again as a student, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. But it definitely feels like more responsibility has been added than compared to when I was in Korea, where I was a teacher, friend, and traveller.

In some ways, it almost feels like I haven’t left. In class, I see familiar faces. I can’t say I’m not excited about learning again. Not having to worry about mold or air pollution is a plus. I take the bus, I see my friends, not much has changed. But the feeling of freedom and independence has.

I can no longer stay out till 3 am, without needing to tell someone. No sleepovers. And lots of questions, that I never had to answer in Korea, where I had more of a “do-as-I-please” attitude.

I don’t regret it though. Coming back. Instead, I’ve turned the “missed” independence and freedom into something I REALLY, REALLY look forward to. When I move out, when I graduate, when I can get back to that “do-as-I-please” lifestyle. I’m glad I came back so I could move forward towards these things.

As they say, home (bitter)sweet home.

29 – Number 1 Fan

How does one become the Number 1 Fan?

I think that often times the title of Number 1 Fan is bias. It’s given to people who are closest to the said item or person. So what does being Number 1 fan mean?

Example:

My mom is my biggest [number 1] fan.

Maybe that’s what being a Number 1 Fan means; to be the closest.

Maybe calling yourself a Number 1 Fan is a ploy to draw attention and thereby become closer to the item or person of worship.

Also, what are the criteria for being a number 1 fan?

  • Monetary spending
  • Creator/Birthgiver
  • Tattoo

 

Always a Number 2 fan. 💩

Best (Horrible) Friend

Best (Horrible) Friend

  

I’m on the outskirts of everyone’s friends list.

Let’s be real, I don’t think I’ll be missed.

Are my jokes so mediocre, CleverBot has more?

How can I be Glen Coco, and get 4?

 

I am a horrible friend, or act like one too?

Annoyance and Ignorance are really hard to mend.

If you have these two traits just say,

So I won’t try to make you my mate.

 

Physical appearance, or do I just not have “it”?

Being close friends to some, sometimes makes me sick.

Maybe that’s how some feel when they’re with me

So I live on the edge of, “It’ll never be”.

 

Everyone’s walking through life with their BFF

I’m just looking for a chance at that test.

If you want one too, just send me a text.

Just make sure you don’t type like a mess.

28 – So Vague

When am I ever on to blog?

When I feel like typing on my keyboard copious amounts of things that I don’t have to put a lot of thought into. The need to sound like I’m being productive.

Some updates (tldr) on my life:

  • Maybe moving away soon to another country by myself for a period of time
  • Trying to concentrate on assignments
  • Thinking about the future (but that’s as per usual)
  • I shop now (??!)

Moving

Well yea, I don’t know how else to put this, but I may be moving to a foreign country to teach English for about 6 months.

My thoughts on the trip? I’m a jumble of emotions, mainly nervous, excited, and worried. Nervous because, I’m going to live on my own. And excited and worried for the same reason.

I’m looking forward to learning/picking up a new language while I’m away. I think this will be a good experience for me. If possible I would definitely tell anyone who can to try abroad once in their life. Because even the pre-trip seems to be changing me for the better.

Summer Class

Knowing me, if you do, I’m taking summer class. And as per usual I’m not really in it to win it. It’s sunny, the weather is nice, my friends are back from out-of-town schooling, and my food bucket-list has been well fed. And by well fed I mean, it’s getting longer, and doesn’t look like I will be able to be fed at those places anytime soon. Especially because I will be leaving soon.

Future Thoughts

I’ve found something I’m passion about pursuing. But do you ever feel like there’s only so much you know about other certain career choice, because people only know about the “to be a doctor/lawyer” route?

Let’s be real, almost everyone I’ve ever encountered knows what route to take to become a doctor/lawyer. Are they successful, did they make it? That’s not the important question. Because at least they didn’t get lost. They may just be denied entrance. Is that better or worse?

The only thing I know that I have to do is, I need to pursue further education, like a Masters or maybe even more.

Shopping

Consumerism has finally got me.

I used to be that person that would not want to go shopping, or even look at products, because A) I had no money B) I didn’t want to buy it (it was a waste) C) I did not get shopping.

Now I make my own money, with a part-time job. And online shopping is as convenient as it gets. And clothes.

I mainly browse online potential items that I am interested in buying, especially clothes. I don’t trust myself to buy clothes online because I can be quite picky with the fit, and I am also a person that dislikes asking for refunds or even going to go for refunds. So I never have. I take ages to buy things online though. It’s like a 2 month process of product-brain application, to weighing the cost and benefit of the product, to reading all the reviews that are available online.

It’s been vague, like blog post, like life. Catch me another time writing my memoir on each topic.

Murder Mystery – Episode Timeline

I’ve watched enough murder mystery type tv shows (eg. Sherlock, Elementary, Criminal Minds) to know what’s the dealio when it comes to the outline/framework of their episode order. I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with it, but here’s what I’ve noticed.

The pilot episode and most likely the rest of first seasons drum roll… will have a series of murders. Each episode will most likely warrant enough time to solve and arrest the murder. And finally the last two episode will be two part long episode most likely highlighting the main character’s inner turmoil, which is related to some unsolved murder case/mystery.

I guess that’s all the detective work of on those murder mystery shows.

27 – New Years Resolution

It is now February, how have everyone’s new years resolution been? Are you still working on them? Or have they been pushed back (forward) till next year?

I want to say that mine have started to pick up and I hope they’re not temporary. I can’t say whether I will continue to stick to my resolutions, but one can only hope.

This year my New Years Resolution included 3 short things that I wanted to work on

  1. Exercise more.
  2. Procrastinate Less.
  3. Make up.

 
These things are quite vague as you can see, so it’s really up to my interpretation on whether I’ve succeeded or not.

Exercise More – Yes.

  • I have been following this 30-day challenge calendar, and it’s just about 10 minutes worth of exercise each day, even though this is not a lot and sometimes I skip.
  • It’s the most consistent I’ve been with trying to stay healthy thus far ever since high school.
  • I’d never wanted to do 30-day challenge before, because they’ve always escalated quickly and seemed very time consuming.
  • However, I was able to find one recently that had small increases and showed me how to do all the moves.
  • And it was easy to do at home.

 
Procrastinate Less – Maybe.

  • I’ve been working really hard to be productive and not waste time on unnecessary things.
  • But they do say old habits die hard.
  • I still procrastinate on sleeping and we’ll have to wait and see how I do with studying for finals.
  • I’ve also rearranged my calendar, so now it’s colour-coded!

 
Make up – A little?

  • As I’m getting older, it is conventional for me to become more sophisticated, and appear more mature.
  • I’m not very good at putting it on, probably because of my lack of, but I think that even if I don’t wear it often, when I do I should at least not struggle/ look good.
  • It’s hard to say “practice” because I don’t own a lot of make up.
  • But I have watched a video on how to improve. (yay?)

 

I’ve also become quite obsessed as of late, with

  1. Being organized
    1. Color-coded calendar
    2. Renaming Files so they have capitals
  2. Bullet points
  3. Window shopping online

Super-Bug

At first I thought, “Let’s give it a try.”
And it was fine for a while,
Great even.

There was one warning,
One Confrontation.
And it was dismissed.

And then your voice started to disappear,
Your guilt probably made you sick.

But you fought it off,
Really well too.
Blaming it on something else.
Drugging your guilt.

It kept coming back.
More resilient each time.
The guilt was becoming a super bug
Each time you didn’t finish your denial-antibiotics,
your guilt-killers.
It came back.

And there I was just as addicted as you with those drugs.

I gave up.
I let you win.
And you used me for your addiction.

You tried to warn me,
by making me feel bad.

“Should have known better”
One of our your friends replied.

Second Last Confrontation.

“I’m sorry… Bye”

26 – In 5 years

It’s apparently been a year since I started this blog. Wow, how time flies and how much has not changed. I’m surprised quite a number of you are still following me. Or like me you’ve simply forgotten that this place existed at all.

In general life has been the same. Still worrying about school, still trying get good grades, still loving food, and still watching my growing list of tv shows.

Now I wonder what people really mean when they ask “Where do you picture yourself in 5 years?”. Because I still picture myself worrying about school, or maybe it’ll have switched to work. But I’ll still be worrying about something. And my tv show list will still be growing, as I mark off shows that have ended and start new seasons of others.

It’s really just an endless cycle of worry, tv shows, and food.
Probably the perfect life.